The Aggressive Couch

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Wabbit Holes. Warm Wabbit Holes.

| June 22, 2015

I read that the former White House chef had died. I thought it said White House Chief. Like, the former Chief of Staff had died? I bet the tinfoil hat types are having a field day with it anyway.

Worrying In My Mighty Incisors

| June 2, 2015

Gun shops around here are strange. I got my first shotgun at the age of five. No joke. I’m from West Virginia. You know what they call a sporting goods store in West Virginia? A sporting goods store. For instance, if Bob wants to open a gun shop, it would be named “Bob’s Sporting Goods.” […]

This Ain’t Rice!

| September 17, 2013

It can be hard to explain to the guys at work (yes, just guys) why I suddenly start laughing at some connector like it’s the funniest thing in the world. I say something like “I was thinking of something funny.” I usually don’t explain what it is because then I’d be stuck there all day […]

Potato Chip Cookies

| December 17, 2012

Christ, can you believe that Friday is St. Patrick’s Day already? Did you put your poplar tree up?

Do You Know How to Live?!?!!!

| October 28, 2012

Today’s Video Comes from “Deathfuur”

| August 21, 2012

With Christmas less than 5 weeks away, I thought I’d share the following Christmas video with you, courtesy of Jeremy.

Internet Comments for All

| August 14, 2012

Paul Ryan, wants the internet to dictate the course of the “Robot and the bear” campaign. That he is currently on. ” Can you imagine giving the American people what they want?” exclaimed Ryan. ” The American people have spoken and this is the chance to take back America!” The example he gave was from […]

Words to Avoid on Porn Sites

| August 11, 2012

A quick list of certain words and expressions one should avoid on porn sites (unless you know what they mean. And are into that sort of thing). Teen (either illegal or young-looking thirty year old) Barely legal (either illegal or young-looking twenty year old) Simulated (simulating something illegal is still usually illegal) 3D (worse 3D […]

Do You Know What I Hate More Than Fruitcake?

| July 3, 2012

Having to shower more than once per day. I swear. I am just gonna hose off tomorrow.

Werewolf party at Ted’s house

| February 27, 2012

It was the monster mash. The invites have been sent out. The RSVP’s accounted for. The blood dripping from the walls. The paper towels to clean up after the zombies. But, yet Ted felt incomplete. He thought to himself “Did I buy enough chips? Get enough blood for the vamps?”. Ted frantically paced back and […]