The Aggressive Couch

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Apelee: Refund

| January 4, 2014

Dear Sir: My name is Apelee Charles. I currently live in a tree house I built last summer. It was a nice place to live until your product ruined my house! When I purchased “Left handed Salty Dog” house paint. I was expecting a quality product and color. Instead I painted my tree house and […]

Asking Apelee

| April 4, 2013

Dear Apelee, Me and my husband were out shopping together. I noticed he had his hands down his pants. While we were eating in the food court. I asked him ” What are you doing?”. He screamed at me ” I’ve got the crabs!!!”. Should I get a divorce or remarry him? Apelee please help!!! […]

Higgs boson: Asking Apelee

| February 20, 2013

Dear Apelee, My name is Higgs boson and I love eating tomatoes. Should I stop eating them? Or should I just buy and add some subtly to my apples? This pains me everyday since the Grapefruit rising of 2012-1/2. What should I do? Thanks, Higgs boson Dear Higgs, It obvious you are fucking crazy! Subtly […]

Asking Apelee

| April 10, 2012

Dear Apelee, Since, the Encyclopaedia Britannica is no longer going to be published in paper form. Where can I get this information? Thanks, Harnee Harnee, What is wrong with you? If you need any information you seek it from your elders. They know everything. If they don’t know the answer to your question. Maybe you […]

Asking Apelee: Football Sunday

| January 23, 2012

Dear Apelee, Yesterday during the football game. A friend of mine brought a roast for us to chew on. But, he fell down the steps and broke his leg. We left him there during the games. Then he was still there this morning. He kept crying and yelling for help. I dropped him off at […]

Asking Apelee

| May 5, 2011

Dear Apelee, My girlfriend always axe me to marry her. Then she wants me to buy a cottage and raise sloth heads. But, since I was young my mother told me “ never buy a cottage “. I don’t want to marry my girlfriend. But, I want to buy the cottage. Apelee, can you help […]