The Aggressive Couch

Powered by Diet Water

Welcome To Our Site...

Salt, flour, cheese, sugar, cookies, rice, tea, parsley chopper.

March 2018
« Feb    

Peter Cottontale review

Posted By on March 22, 2018

Peter Cottontale is the latest lepusploitation film. Just another movie in the long line of crass, underdeveloped rabbit-tripe.

The story revolves around underground cop Jake Rabbit on his quest to bring down the big bad, Peter Cottontale. Peter was running blow from Columbia or glow from Gambia. I couldn’t really tell with those thick rabbit accents. The whole thing was another cookie-cutter movie following the Save the Rabbit style of hero’s journey, mixed with the ultra-violence and wild sex that the lepusploitation genre is known for. Throw in about 700 lame rabbit puns and you’re there.

Star Trek XIV: Space Crickets Come Home

Posted By on March 2, 2018

This movie was an unmitigated disaster. Sure, turning Star Trek over to the people responsible for the Dennis the Menace comic strip seemed like a good idea – at first! Honestly, the scene where Spongebob gets assimilated by the Borg was the only good part.

Benji – C.R.A.C.K. U.S.A.

Posted By on February 16, 2018

Now this is my idea of a Benji movie. Little-loved when it was released back in the 80’s, this film is non-stop action. Granted, it’s kind of in the ‘so bad it’s good’ camp. Total camp. And yes, the ‘idiot cop’ gets bitten in the nuts – twice! Once by Benji, and once by the bad “Mr. T” wanna-be. The best part is Benji crashing the cool flying car into the Eiffel Tower.  Too bad it was totally destroyed during filming. What you see today is just a replica. The French sure were pissed!

Benji Does Dallas

Posted By on February 4, 2018

I did NOT watch this one – I am merely alerting you to its presence. According to Benjipedia, there was no actual bestiality in this movie, but I have to draw the line somewhere. Seriously, who would want to watch a movie about a dog humping people’s legs for money, no matter how tastefully it was done?

The Passion of Benji

Posted By on February 2, 2018

The Passion of Benji is basically two hours of dog abuse. Good grief, this was difficult to watch. Even knowing that it wasn’t a real dog being whipped, I still had trouble watching this one.

And I know they were trying to be authentic by having all the dogs speak in their native tongue, but the subtitles were sometimes hard to read and went by too fast.

The whole bit where Benji dies and rises from the grave three days later is also off-putting. I know it was supposed to be inspirational, but it’s basically Zombie-dog.

Benji – Aqua Diver

Posted By on January 26, 2018

We watched the new Benji movie last night. It was awful! The whole dream sequence thing with the carp (not to mention the 87 gallons of rubbing alcohol) just makes me wince.

Star T-Rex

Posted By on January 18, 2018

I can’t seem to find any games I want to play on Steam.

Food Reviews

Posted By on January 9, 2018

Reviews of Food I Haven’t Eaten:

Spotted Dick – I think it’s some kind of dessert. Duran Duran loves it. Sounds interesting!

Toad in the Hole – Is this the sausage? Or is that Bubble and Squeak? A Plus

Escargot – Snails. Probably pretty good if you can get past the ‘gross’ factor

Borscht – Something to do with beets?

Khanom chin kaeng kiao wan kai – Something Asian. Probably hot. I can eat insanely hot foods but really, I prefer Mild or Medium

Hog Maw – The contents are supposed to be OK, but the stomach itself is rubbery

The Year in Movie Reviews

Posted By on January 1, 2018

I didn’t watch any movies this year so I’ll review some You Tube channels.

Great Scott!: I kind of resent this channel for being so popular

Big Clive: He is really tall!

Classic Game Room: I have a TI-99 +4A too

The Shadow’s Nose: I never knew Germans don’t have root beer

Randy Shartiger: Great accent. MM keeps laughing because his last name is Shartiger

Uncle Doug: He quit updating. I hope he’s still alive

Game Sack: The one guy has a weird looking mouth

Mike Haduck: Reminds me of my old boss

The Old Furniture Guys: They need a sound man

Reviews of Horror Movies I Haven’t Seen

Posted By on December 28, 2017

The Shining: Really well respected. I haven’t seen it, but I did see the Simpsons parody. Does this still count as unseen?

Killer Klowns from Outer Space: The theme song is okay, but the Dickies have done so much better. I don’t wanna watch this movie. Clowns don’t scare me, and I suspect that people who do fear them are just putting me on

Lake Placid: Comedy horror flicks only work well if you’re familiar with the tropes. I’m not, so I think I’ll skip it

Rawhead Rex: My uncle Billy tried to get me to watch this with him. We played with his SNES instead. I miss him

Mountaintop Motel Massacre: Oh, wait, I did watch this one

Cult of Chucky: One of the best Chucky films. It’s amazing how long dead franchises can come back more vital than ever when taken over by – wait, is that a cat hair on my keyboard? My cat’s been dead for years. He sure shed a lot