The Aggressive Couch

Powered by Diet Water

What the Hell Are These Songs Called Anyway

| December 31, 2011

I’m sick of having to call them “Song 1”, “Song 2”, and “Song 3”. Anyway, here is Song A

Carpet and Fries

| December 31, 2011

Today on the Big Comfy Aggressive Couch, there’s nothing important going on or anything. Certainly not! Please remain calm until the Couch has come to a complete stop. No refunds, no exchanges. Anyway, in honor of it being Easter and all, here is our latest song, “Sunshine Island!” “Oh, come on! There’s naked nudists over […]

Yummy Hospital

| December 30, 2011

It’s fun being in a hospital and someone shit themselves. The smell just radiates through the hallway. On a lighter note. The food wasn’t that bad there.

Binko

| December 29, 2011

I hope Jon’s not pissed that I haven’t uploaded his version of My Condolences With Vocals. But Hell, our one regular reader has already heard it.

Just Add Watermelon

| December 28, 2011

I didn’t mix any songs today. But I went to the bank, picked up some strings at C*******’s M****, strolled around the antique store in Shrewsbury, disassembled my Jaguar, found a place that does re-chroming (all the control panels – yuck!), swapped “Lace Sensor” pickups onto my red Strat, changed the strings, started setting the […]

Couch Negotiations

| December 27, 2011

Tense, last minute negotiations are underway for the imminent release of COUCH. Actually, that’s not true, but it sounds better than “Ron’s wife has the shits”. So I’d like to quote this section of this book I bought by Rick Green and Dr. Umesh Jain – ADD Stole My Car Keys “I’m weird. I don’t […]

Absolutely Divine

| December 25, 2011

I took a break from mixing the songs what with it being “Monster Truck Weekend” and all. So, anyway, today’s big hit single off the big Scarlet Decline album is We Need Sex / Absolutely Divine! Notice that the base player doesn’t fuck up the first verse – because I fixed it. There’s a few […]

Aggressive Couch Choice for Word of the Year

| December 24, 2011

My choice for word of the year for 2011 is “Cuttlefish”

Oh God, I Think I Hit a Deer

| December 23, 2011

No, sorry, it was a human. Anyway, here is my list of the three best Christmas movies you MUST see this Christmas! #1: The Ref. Norr likes this movie. I haven’t seen it. He showed me a segment of it. Now I definitely don’t want to see it. #2: Melvin Weederpate, the Tollbooth Guy who […]

Sexy Monkey

| December 21, 2011

I got wood shavings all over the kitchen for you! It sounds loud and powerful, but it still has just enough of that Fender “twang” to let you know it’s a good quality Strat. I think it sounds great, which doesn’t bode well for Harry.