The Aggressive Couch

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Good Source for Embalming Fluid

| May 31, 2013

Where can I get some good embalming fluid? No, I’m not going to smoke it. I’m just pricing alternatives to refrigeration.

Him That Play Them Drums Gooder

| May 30, 2013

I really like the drummer from the Police. At least, I like his tone. So I guess I actually like their producer and not him. Did you know he’s from Argentina? And the guitar player used to be in KC and the Sunshine Band!

Pudding On the Ritz

| May 28, 2013

I want to go buy a shop press from Harbor Freight (to press bearings to make bearing juice, of course) but I can’t. I can borrow my dad’s truck but the thing weighs 200 pounds, and I can only lift 197. So it would stay in the back of his truck for the forseeable future.

Fisting McLee

| May 27, 2013

It’s kind of sad I was named David instead of something a bit more dramatic, such as “Duke”, “Count”, or “Doctor”. And, as a side note about regret, looks like today I’m finally going to have to bury that gigantic frog skeleton, the one with the howitzer holes. I’ll miss you, Fluffy. A Frog with […]

Mongrels

| May 26, 2013

Cinematic Titanic to Close

| May 25, 2013

Joél Hodgson’s latest version of MST3K, Cinematic Titanic, is to close at the end of this year. Or, at least, they aren’t going to tour anymore. This isn’t quite as bad as the time my mom ran away to join the circus, but it’s still bad. But then again I stopped buying the discs after […]

The Central Abyss of Herbmonger

| May 24, 2013

It’s not everyday where pants are the norm. T-shirts derive from the standard allocating alligators. But, not the polo shirt, mind you. But, rather the empty and soulless t-shirt. Made from cotton or cheese based salad. It has survived the years. Due to the complications of the modern man. Having stood in a line to […]

Whatever Happened to Spiro Agnew

| May 24, 2013

Have you ever noticed that you never see Spiro Agnew and Alf in the same room at the same time?

I Have Diptheria Colominiscus Pants

| May 23, 2013

How is it that today it is illegal to marry pork rinds? Yes, when I can’t think of anything to write, I just start randomly combining nouns and verbs until something comes out that doesn’t make me want to stick a fork in my eye. Or I just write a common saying and substitute the […]

Slice of Wonderpig?

| May 22, 2013

Has the Springfield Bowling Alley closed? Where will Jesus bowl?