The Aggressive Couch

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Muppet Babies > Smurfs

| November 30, 2015

My new cartoon rating service is up and running! Pay me $20 a month and I’ll rate your favorite cartoons as compared to Muppet Babies.

Put It In Your Can Opener

| November 27, 2015

Dinner yesterday was fine. Ate MM’s parents.

Potatoes > Sweet Potatoes

| November 25, 2015

Fuck this “substituting sweet potatoes for regular potatoes” bullshit! Sweet potatoes belong in a casserole smothered with brown sugar and those cute li’l marshmallows.

Buttergate

| November 23, 2015

New! Chicken Salsa Pizza! That’s not what I made for dinner. Instead, I made lasagna. Chicken lasagna!

What Goes In Porky’s Ear

| November 22, 2015

Take this damn ice pack and shove it your f- Oh! We’re on! Looking at a house online again. Burt Lancaster. That’s what we’ve named it. It’s not in Lancaster.

Jerry Buffet

| November 21, 2015

At last! It’s Jerry Buffet’s new song, Vodka Gimlet-ville.

Cow Down

| November 20, 2015

There is a house near where I work… We haven’t came up with an accurate yet slightly degrading nickname for it yet… It’s been the subject of many Google searches… And God, I know, it’s not a Fish Hatchery.

Kratzenkraft

| November 19, 2015

Uhm, who wants to go first?

Cranberries

| November 15, 2015

Remember the Cranberries? They had that one really good song. They also sell some fine juice.

Ain’t Nothin’ Funny ‘Bout Acorns

| November 14, 2015

Acorns are taking the world by storm. Acorns are the leading export of many desperate homeowners and other nuts. Investing in acorns is pleasant and desirable among our youth.