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February 2019
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Benji – C.R.A.C.K. U.S.A.

Posted By on February 16, 2018

Now this is my idea of a Benji movie. Little-loved when it was released back in the 80’s, this film is non-stop action. Granted, it’s kind of in the ‘so bad it’s good’ camp. Total camp. And yes, the ‘idiot cop’ gets bitten in the nuts – twice! Once by Benji, and once by the bad “Mr. T” wanna-be. The best part is Benji crashing the cool flying car into the Eiffel Tower.  Too bad it was totally destroyed during filming. What you see today is just a replica. The French sure were pissed!

Benji Does Dallas

Posted By on February 4, 2018

I did NOT watch this one – I am merely alerting you to its presence. According to Benjipedia, there was no actual bestiality in this movie, but I have to draw the line somewhere. Seriously, who would want to watch a movie about a dog humping people’s legs for money, no matter how tastefully it was done?

The Passion of Benji

Posted By on February 2, 2018

The Passion of Benji is basically two hours of dog abuse. Good grief, this was difficult to watch. Even knowing that it wasn’t a real dog being whipped, I still had trouble watching this one.

And I know they were trying to be authentic by having all the dogs speak in their native tongue, but the subtitles were sometimes hard to read and went by too fast.

The whole bit where Benji dies and rises from the grave three days later is also off-putting. I know it was supposed to be inspirational, but it’s basically Zombie-dog.

Benji – Aqua Diver

Posted By on January 26, 2018

We watched the new Benji movie last night. It was awful! The whole dream sequence thing with the carp (not to mention the 87 gallons of rubbing alcohol) just makes me wince.

Star T-Rex

Posted By on January 18, 2018

I can’t seem to find any games I want to play on Steam.

Food Reviews

Posted By on January 9, 2018

Reviews of Food I Haven’t Eaten:

Spotted Dick – I think it’s some kind of dessert. Duran Duran loves it. Sounds interesting!

Toad in the Hole – Is this the sausage? Or is that Bubble and Squeak? A Plus

Escargot – Snails. Probably pretty good if you can get past the ‘gross’ factor

Borscht – Something to do with beets?

Khanom chin kaeng kiao wan kai – Something Asian. Probably hot. I can eat insanely hot foods but really, I prefer Mild or Medium

Hog Maw – The contents are supposed to be OK, but the stomach itself is rubbery

The Year in Movie Reviews

Posted By on January 1, 2018

I didn’t watch any movies this year so I’ll review some You Tube channels.

Great Scott!: I kind of resent this channel for being so popular

Big Clive: He is really tall!

Classic Game Room: I have a TI-99 +4A too

The Shadow’s Nose: I never knew Germans don’t have root beer

Randy Shartiger: Great accent. MM keeps laughing because his last name is Shartiger

Uncle Doug: He quit updating. I hope he’s still alive

Game Sack: The one guy has a weird looking mouth

Mike Haduck: Reminds me of my old boss

The Old Furniture Guys: They need a sound man

Reviews of Horror Movies I Haven’t Seen

Posted By on December 28, 2017

The Shining: Really well respected. I haven’t seen it, but I did see the Simpsons parody. Does this still count as unseen?

Killer Klowns from Outer Space: The theme song is okay, but the Dickies have done so much better. I don’t wanna watch this movie. Clowns don’t scare me, and I suspect that people who do fear them are just putting me on

Lake Placid: Comedy horror flicks only work well if you’re familiar with the tropes. I’m not, so I think I’ll skip it

Rawhead Rex: My uncle Billy tried to get me to watch this with him. We played with his SNES instead. I miss him

Mountaintop Motel Massacre: Oh, wait, I did watch this one

Cult of Chucky: One of the best Chucky films. It’s amazing how long dead franchises can come back more vital than ever when taken over by – wait, is that a cat hair on my keyboard? My cat’s been dead for years. He sure shed a lot

Movies I Haven’t Seen 3: Christmas 2

Posted By on December 23, 2017

Santa Claus and the Ice Cream Bunny: So bad it’s good or so bad it’s bad? I usually don’t like things like this

The Ref: Norr says it’s great. Our tastes overlap a lot

Ernest Saves Christmas: I like Ernest in small doses. VERY small doses. No way am I sitting through a feature length film. Maybe if he only made a cameo in his own movie?

The Man Who Invented Christmas: Not my kind of thing. I don’t like historical fiction AT ALL

A Christmas Carol (various): I saw the one with Mickey. That one was good. I was eight at the time. Haven’t seen the others. Unless you count Scrooged

Mr. Krueger’s Christmas: It stars Jimmy Stewart, not Robert Englund. Probably good if you’re Mormon. Comedy gold if you’re an atheist

More Christmas Movies That I Haven’t Seen Reviews

Posted By on December 21, 2017

Elf: I generally don’t like this sort of asinine humor. The guy who stars in it just doesn’t do anything for me. I don’t remember his name.

Nightmare Before Christmas: My sister liked it. It has ‘cult film’ written all over it.

Cooper’s Christmas: Peter Keleghan is in this. I like Peter Keleghan!

Die Hard: It has Bruce Willis. I never really cared for him as an actor. He was funny that one time I saw him on SNL back in the 80’s, though.

Christmas with the Kranks: Does it deserve its bad reputation? Probably not, but even if it’s not as bad as people say, I bet it’s still pretty bad.