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Aggressive Couch 26: Fisting Delight

I’m tired of coming up with meaningful intro paragraphs.  Gone are all the so-called fishing with Wanda the Wonder Cow.  Meandering wishcraft bagel condom goatse.  Up a lup, gorsh veeberlitzer!

In this episode:

Thy Politics – does it bother you when a star/musician/muppet has diametrically opposite political views from you?  What if they’re just bat shit crazy?  If Spongebob called for the eradication of the Jews, would you still be able to watch?

First Run Movies in the Home – We investigate the MPAA box that will allow first run movies to be viewed in your home the day they come out.  Will this be the end of theaters, well yes, but who gives a shit.

Vampires of the X-Box – EA is now going to charge $10 to play their sports games online.  This is on top of the $60 you pay for the game and the $5 a month to play on X-Box Live if you’re dumb enough to have bought an X-Box.  A ten dollar fee for used game purchasers to play online would be acceptable to us, but for new game purchasers?  Give us a break.  Hacks enabling private servers will proliferate within 13.723 seconds of release.

Taste the Blame – Nobody holds anybody accountable anymore.  CEOs, politicians, athletes – if you’re rich you have to fuck up pretty bad or kill some dogs before anyone cares.  Sure, you might get fired, but you’re still on easy street.  We’re not recommending seppuku or anything, but if the CEO of BP wants to borrow my sword, just clean it off after you’re done with it, ok?

Disposable Cars… NOT – It’s almost always cheaper to fix the old clunker than it is to buy a new one.

Interpretation of Dreams – mostly meaningless ESP garbage.  Only you know what your dreams mean, if they mean anything at all.  If you think dreams are gateways to a past life, you need to get one.

Also, Juan-Carlos Cruz will not be stopping by with his raw meatloaf recipe.  Maybe in 10 to 20 years.

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Now it's my turn to hump the mic!


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