The Aggressive Couch

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Tractor Supply Company Was Open!

Yes, Tractor Supply Company was open, so I was able to fill my arms with purchases. Who wants horse tranquilizers!!!!!

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Now it's my turn to hump the mic!


One Response to “Tractor Supply Company Was Open!”

  1. Harry C Pharisee says:

    JP felt the turd run down his pant leg and onto his neighbor’s throw rug. He promised to house sit before he knew he was going to have to be there when his laxative kicked in. Not a stool softener mind you but one of those that lubes up your asshole making it easier to shit… and more difficult to hold shit in. He called Deb, his wife, who promptly launched into hysterics at the thought of having to help JP clean shit off a rug and transport his soiled clothing back to the homestead.

    The convo went something like this:

    JP: Whaddayou want?
    Deb: You called ME jackass.
    JP: You’re not a very nice somebody.
    Deb: What’s going on JP?
    JP: I’m having a homosexual affair with Dave Fitzgerald and Justin Wu, Ron watches and jacks off the hedgehog.
    Deb: What’s really going on JP?
    JP: I shit on Siobhan’s carpet.
    Deb: (Sobbing) I hate you.
    JP: I hope you choke on your sandwich.
    Deb: What sandwich? What the fuck are you talking about?
    JP: Well there it is!!!

    The End