The Aggressive Couch

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Why does time drag to a stop sometimes? It seems like forever when you’re waiting for…
Pizza delivery
The restraining order to run out
The bank to deliver my new debit card so I can go to the fucking supermarket
3 weeks house arrest
Inoperable megalomania
Microwave popcorn
No, seriously, that damn card should have been here yesterday
A dying squirrel breathing its last
A good heavy duty mattress to dry out
Lynching stock car drivers
Two Jews, a Mexican, and a black man walk into a bar
Where is my medication


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Now it's my turn to hump the mic!

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