The Aggressive Couch

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| July 15, 2015

Well, C. Turtle seems to be ignoring me. He was up all night with Webby, rockin’ out in the clothesbasket. In bigger news, I took out the trash today! Tell Paul Westerberg.

Nothing Says “Nothing” Like Nothing

| July 14, 2015

Hey! A bunch of punk rock interviews! But don’t read his record reviews. They fuckin’ SUCK. Except one of his G.G. Allin reviews. “He was not a “rebel” acting out against society and trying to save rock and roll; he was a damaged human being whose impaired brain was unable to create positive feelings or […]

Upper Swatere

| July 12, 2015

I drank chocolate milk today and I’m older than 12. Do I have to register somewhere?

Can’t Get Enough P.U.S.S.Y.?

| July 10, 2015

Remember back in the 80s, when everything was acronyms? M.A.S.K., M.A.D.D., W.A.S.P., and T.I.T.S.? Well, what the hell is P.U.S.S.Y.? I keep finding emails from them in my spam folder.

Sounds Like French Fries

| July 8, 2015

This was the soundtrack to my bar mistvah. Not bar mitzvah – we’re not Italian!  

Conning Tower

| July 6, 2015

How can I con my friends into helping me empty the rest of my house and clean it? #takingadvantageofpeople

Waiting For My Balls to Drop

| July 5, 2015

My garage is now almost empty. Next, the SHED. It went much faster once I decided to put the metal shelves into the scrap metal pile after I dropped one and broke it.

How Hot and Wet Do You Like It?

| July 4, 2015

On rainy days like this, I’m sorta glad I quit autocrossing.

It’s Working! Call Doug Batterhugless

| July 2, 2015

Well, the Fourth of July is coming up this weekend. I will exorcise that tainted blender yet.

Ersatz Shanker

| July 1, 2015

Look what Kelsey Grammer is now endorsing!