The Aggressive Couch

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Is It Pronounced “Poo-sy” or “Puh-sy?”

| November 15, 2014

I just got back from playing Cards Against Humanity (CAH). Well, actually, I stopped at the supermarket on the way home. And the Salvy Am. And the shitter. Anyway, we didn’t even count up the cards to see who won. It’s kind of like an election, but with CAH, there are no losers.

Suit Yourself Blenda

| November 14, 2014

I was going to walk to the grocery store and buy some health food but it is too damn cold. So instead I am going to eat these”Moth” brand breath mints I found in the closet. They smell like old people!

Love Train

| November 13, 2014

I remember buying my first stereo. Well, getting it for Christmas. It was an all-black beauty from GPX. GPX stood for Gran Prix… X. You knew you were getting quality! DEMAND THE BEST! I had a record player, but it was one of those old 1960s pieces of crap with the shitty needle that destroyed […]

Aggressive Couch Drinking Games!

| November 12, 2014

I have a new drinking game for you regular Aggressive Couch readers. Er, reader. Yes. When you are watching videos on You Tube, every time it brings up the same ad for that fucking Louis Semprini movie or whatever the fuck it is, take a big steaming gulp of the weakest light beer you can […]

You Can’t Get It Mork

| November 11, 2014

Today, I ate cereal for dinner. Hoo-raye!

Waiting for My Balls to Drop

| November 10, 2014

Next time I get Chinese food, if I try to order fries with it, please stop me.

The Aggressive Couch Guide to Linen

| November 9, 2014

Linen /ˈlɪnɨn/ is a textile made from the fibers of the flax plant, Linum usitatissimum. Linen is laborious to manufacture, but the fiber is very absorbent and garments made of linen are valued for their exceptional coolness and freshness in hot weather. Linen was born Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov, of West Germanic origin, to cognate to […]

C. Turtle’s Wild America

| November 8, 2014

Don’t you hate when you take a bunch of photos of the Squishies and you can’t find the damn camera cable?

5… 4… 3… 2… 1… please wait 3 to 5 days for delivery

| November 7, 2014

Dog-a-pult has been ordered. Brace for liftoff.

This is Really Disgusting

| November 6, 2014