The Aggressive Couch

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Guest Post from Turtle!

| September 18, 2014

hjerl;l;op. ik ajmn turtlke. i want fisdhj.

Sing a Song of Fiberglass

| September 17, 2014

I really don’t want to fiberglass the Impala today.

Clean Your Sink with Turtle Power

| September 16, 2014

Ninja Turtles. Whatever next? I foresee a crossover with TMNT and Super Mario. Mario and Luigi handle the clean side plumbing, the Turtles handle the drainage, septic tanks, and the like. They live in a sewer, eh? All goes well until they decide to go public and Richie Rich threatens a hostile takeover.

Vidkun Quisling Bed and Breakfast

| September 15, 2014

Mmm, fabric softener.

Pick Your Sound

| September 14, 2014

I got the Fishy Triple Play MIDI thing for my guitar working for real today. Faster tracking, sounds cool. Lots more fun than a real keyboard. But it doesn’t have any built in beats!

It Is “Goriddle Gorilla”, not “Griddle Gorilla” Dammit

| September 13, 2014

I am trying out these new e-cigarettes. Of course, I don’t smoke, so I have rigged them up with sweet potpourri, incense, and rat poison. Now I can’t tell which is which. What do I do?

Swatch Stuffer

| September 12, 2014

I’m watching C. Turtle and T-Rex play “Munch Man” on the TI-99/4a.

Hike ‘Em Up, Boys

| September 11, 2014

Why are all those damn flags flying at half mast today? Must be because Richard Kiel just died, right?

Franklin Expedition Found!

| September 10, 2014

Well, their boat was. One of the boats. I have been fascinated with Franklin’s Lost Expedition since that Nova documentary on it freaked the shit out of me.

Westboro Baptist Church Sign Generator

| September 9, 2014